he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
