you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
