My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
