i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I am mentally ready for anal.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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