Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
