How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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