I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
