so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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