i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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