I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
