PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
