I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
That's when you crack a 10am beer
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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