Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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