i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
