i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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