You're so nebulous sometimes
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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