it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Someone shattered a urinal.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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