I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
this will be a night to untag.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
