the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
