i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
