I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
