Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
