i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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