What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
