Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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