508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
