grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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