Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
