Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
