would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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