Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
