would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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