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She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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