The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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