took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
