Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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