Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
