omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
