i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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