their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
