I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You can't just leave with hair like that
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
