Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
