Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
