we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I smell like Dick and happiness
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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