All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
