Whod you bang
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
