can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
