eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
