it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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