no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
