She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
