im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
